Last time I was in the Chicago area, I heard about this demon ghost posing as a fairy godmother. She's known as Scary Martha. She usually comes to visit you in the late evening when the lights are low giving you some baked goodies and warm milk to make you feel better the next day. Now, here's the rub...if you don't manage to burp or fart really quick when her tiny fairy wings start to glow, you might lose a nose or an ear. And, you must hope that your burp or fart is slightly odiferous to make her moist nostrils quiver. Because, my friends, out of nowhere she produces a rusty hacksaw and starts hacking away at your face. Remember, only a smelly fart or a burp keeps her appeased. Timing is absolutely crucial. So beware!