DURING THE SIEGE OF MALTA, 300 KNIGHTS KEPT 10,000 PERSIANS AT BAY. THE ONE THING THESE KNIGHTS WERE CONCERNED ABOUT THOUGH WAS GENERAL DARIUS, WHO HAD YET TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE ON THE BATTLEFIELD. HE WAS A BRILLIANT AND LEGENDARY STRATEGIST. GENERAL DARIUS WAS FINALLY SENT OUT TO FINISH THE BATTLE FOR THE PERSIANS. HE COULDN'T BELIEVE THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF HOW HIS NAVY OF 10,000 WAS FIGHTING THIS BATTLE AGAINST 300. HE ASKED FOR A FEW CANONS TO BE PUT UP ON A HILL. HE TOLD HIS ARMY THAT THE BATTLE WOULD BE OVER IN JUST FEW MINUTES IF THEY COULD JUST TRY AND FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS IMPLICITLY. HE HAD THE COORDINATES OF EACH CANON READ OFF TO HIM THREE TIMES JUST TO MAKE SURE. WHEN HE FINALLY FELT SATISFIED THAT HIS SOLDIERS HAD UNDERSTOOD HIS ORDERS CORRECTLY, HE SAID "FIRE". GENERAL DARIUS'S HEAD WAS BLOWN OFF AND THE MALTA CASTLE WAS STILL IN TACK. THE COORDINATES WERE OBVIOUSLY WAY OFF. NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE PERSIANS LOST THE WAR.


MY STRESS LEVEL IS WAY, WAY UP. MY WIFE IS WORRIED ABOUT MY HEART. I FEEL LIKE THIS GOAT JUST WONDERING WHEN MY HEAD IS GOING TO GET BLOWN OFF.